Drugged
by alchemistj
Summary: Naruto accidentally gets drugged and wakes up thinking he is a girl... NejiNaru, GaaNaruMaybe
1. Chapter 1 Oh Boy

**Drugged**

_By Gaki_

_Hidey! Another random fic I decided to write one night when I didn't want to sleep. Recently, I've actually forced myself to write because I am really hopeless at finishing fics. So, I will try my best to defeat myself and actually finish this fic. Everyone, fingers crossed for me! Also, look out for my other fic **'Neji's Problem'**_

Summary: Naruto accidentally gets drugged and wakes up thinking he is a girl… Neji/Naru, Gaa/Naru(Maybe)

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine. Neither is pretty Sasuke, sexy Gaara, or handsome Neji.

Warnings: M/M SLASH, use of strange drugs.

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Naruto dodged the first attack of shurikens. The hidden mist ninja dashed towards Naruto again and jumped up into the air. Naruto jumped up after him, and threw a kunai at him. The hidden mist ninja grabbed it between his middle an index finger.

"Kusso…who the hell is this guy, why is here all by himself?"

Naruto was suddenly kicked in the stomach as he spiraled into the ground. He wiped away the blood at his lips, and put his fingers together to form hand seals.

"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!"

Three other Naruto's appeared as two of them attacked the mist ninja, the other moulding chakra in Naruto's hand.

"Eat this, mist shit!"

Naruto growled and ran full-speed towards the enemy

"Rasengan!"

Just before the hidden mist ninja spiraled backwards, he threw some kind of pill into Naruto's mouth. He choked, but it was already gone inside his throat.

"What the fuck…"

Naruto staggered backwards. All of the sudden, he felt _very_ dizzy, and he thought he could see the sky and the clouds mixing and swirling together, spinning faster and faster into a range of colours. He gelt like his mind was being ripped out of his body, and blacked out.

- - - - -

What's wrong with him? Is he going to be alright?"

"I'm not sure, Sakura-san. His body seems perfectly fine. But, I picked up some strange substance in his bloodstream. I cannot identify it."

"Bloodstream? What kind of substance?"

Shizune frowned.

"I'm sorry, but I don't know. We just have to wait for Tsunade-sama."

"I'm here."

The two females spun around to see the Godaime in her usual attire.

"Tsunade-sama!" the two of them cried.

"What happened to Naruto?"

Sakura began to sob.

"We had to meet Kakashi-sensei for training in the forest, and Naruto was early as always, but someone attacked him, and-"

"Who?"

An Anbu standing near them spoke.

"A hidden mist shinobi. There as been news that they are gaining power, in terms of medicine. Their attacks include many poisonous drugs, but few know of the specifics. We have the attacker, though he has to undergo treatment for interrogation."

Tsunade nodded.

"Tsunade-sama! Please treat Naruto!"

Tsunade's face was stony and serious. Whatever kind of drug the hidden mist ninja fed him, it was even making it hard for Kyuubi to heal. The only thing which could affect it so much was if it directly attacked the nerves.

Tsunade scanned Naruto's nervous system. She picked up strange energy drifting up to Naruto's brain.

"This is bad. Get him up to the emergency room, _now_!"

Sakura's face was white with fear.

"Hai."

- - - - -

Naruto's bed got rushed to the emergency room. Outside, a sobbing Sakura was being comforted by Hinata, who had heard the news and come with Neji. Shikamaru, Chouji and Kiba were passing by and saw the two rushing, and followed.

"I wonder what will happen to Naruto-kun…" Hinata whispered to herself.

"Naruto is strong. He will recover no matter what injuries he'd get," Shikamaru reassured.

The red light switched off, and the doors opened. Tsunade came out with the medical team pushing the bed Naruto, who was still unconscious, was lying on.

"Tsunade-sama! Is Naruto okay?" Sakura asked desperately.

The group followed the bed and Tsunade into the one of the infirmary rooms. Once they were inside, Tsunade finally spoke.

"I don't know exactly what is wrong with Naruto yet, but I have prevented some permanent damage with his nerves. I will have to send shinobis to the hidden mist to investigate."

"Tsunade-sama! Isn't there anything you can do? Anything _we_ can do? Onegai, Tsu-"

"Naruto should be waking up by tomorrow, until then, I do not want visitors in this infirmary room, understood?"

Sensing Tsunade's seriousness, they all obeyed her.

After the door was closed, Tsunade collapsed on the floor.

"What in the world happened to Naruto…even _I_ can't figure it out."

- - - - -

Neji and Hinata were walking back to the Hyuuga mansion.

"N…Neji-niisan, do you think Naruto will be alright?"

Neji looked up at the pale moon.

Neji had always secretly admired Naruto. Even since that match in the Chuunin exams, Neji grew to respect the blonde boy. He acknowledged him as the most powerful opponent he had ever fought. Naruto wouldn't give up. He was sure he was going to be fine.

"I think we all know the answer to that, Hinata-sama."

Hinata looked curiously over to Neji, and felt relieved.

Naruto was going to be alright.

"Ne, Shikamaru, why do you think the hidden mist attacked Naruto?"

Shikamaru sat on the floor with his elbow resting on the table, chin propped up by his hand.

"I really don't know, Chouji. The hidden mist and the lead have almost no relations to each other. They are on friendly terms. Well, at least they are supposed to be."

"Maybe Naruto pissed one of them off, and they are getting revenge!" Kiba shouted, his fist shaking at an invisible enemy.

"Even if it was for something petty like revenge for personal issues, it doesn't explain why only one ninja came and attacked Naruto."

"Were they hiding?" Chouji asked.

Shikamaru shook his head.

"Anbu checked the site. No other evidence was found."

"Feh, why do all the troubles happen around Naruto?" Kiba asked to no-one in particular, as he fell back onto Shikamaru's futon.

Shikamaru broke into a knowing smirk.

"Because Naruto is one hell of a troublesome guy."

- - - - -

Sunlight broke into the dark sky. Sakura was already awake and getting changed. She wondered if Naruto was awake yet.

Sakura had lost one team member, and it nearly tore her apart. If she lost Naruto as well, she would break down for sure. Sighing, she walked into the kitchen to get some breakfast.

It was quiet in Konoha hospital. Naruto was still yet to wake. The nurses still weren't fully active yet, because it was still quite dark.

Tsunade had sent several Chuunin and Anbu to the hidden mist, and had gone herself to research the medicine. Before she left, she did one last checkup on Naruto, just to reassure herself that he was indeed not in any danger.

Since the Godaime's last visit, the room was awfully quiet and not even dust dared to stir.

There were footsteps down the hall. Someone was walking towards Naruto's room. No-one was at the reception, so no-one knew that a boy was visiting. When he reached the door, he slid it open and stepped inside.

Neji always felt that he was in Naruto's debt. He felt that Naruto had done something for him so great that he could never repay him with equal value.

He started to notice him more. You could even say they were good friends. Watching Naruto made Neji feel refreshed and comforted. And relieved. Relieved that such a person existed in this world, and he was standing right next to him. His words were practically the only words Neji put faith in, and his blue eyes seemed to be that could project such pure honesty. His childishness was what you could call…cute…even if it annoyed the hell out of most people. But when he fought, he seemed a thousand times more powerful and spirited.

Naruto was so many things in one small package. He was like a small pot of diamonds and gold, except Neji knew Naruto was far more precious than all the gold in the world.

Neji walked towards Naruto's bed. He stood thee, gazing down at the peaceful form of Naruto. Even when he slept like that, he didn't look at all vulnerable. It felt as if some invisible force was radiating from his body and guarding him.

Sunlight was peeping through the curtains and bouncing off Naruto's messy golden locks. Neji held out his fingers towards it. He could see Naruto's small chest rising and falling with every breath he took. His fingers finally reached his locks, as he combed through it, attempting to feel every strand that Naruto had to offer.

With the other hand, it slid over onto Naruto's cheek. He outlined the three feint whisker marks on them. Neji had always wondered what they were. Was it a birthmark? If it was, it was pretty unusual. They gave Naruto a mischievous, fox-like image, which Naruto also found cute. Not that he'd ever admit it, even to himself.

He gently stroked his creamy-brown face, which was firm and supple. He half-wondered why he was doing this.

In the middle of his wondering, Neji noticed two clear blue eyes looking up at him in the utmost surprise.

Neji blushed. He'd been caught. How would he explain _this_ to Naruto?

"Naruto, I…"

Naruto snapped upright to stare at Neji in horror. Neji got worried. He placed his hand over Naruto's forehead and pushed the hair back as a comforting gesture. Naruto immediately slapped his hand away and shrieked.

"Aahh! You…you…HENTAII!"

Neji froze with shock.

Was this some kind of prank? Well, if it was, Neji definitely fell for it for a moment there.

"Very funny, Naruto. Are you feeling alright now?"

Neji walked closer to Naruto gain. Naruto shuffled back on the bed and frantically pulled up the covers to conceal himself.

"D-don't you even think about it! How _dare_ you try and come in here to…to try and play out one of your sick male fantasies!"

Sick male fantasies? What in the world…

"Naruto, I don't know what you're talking about Are you alright?"

"Oh yeah, stay away from me and I'll be juust _fine_."

Sakura ran down the corridor. She thought she heard someone screaming and she prayed that it wasn't Naruto's.

Sakura slid open the door and nearly tripped inside. She saw Neji-senpai standing beside the bed, where Naruto was lying. She saw the look of horror on his face, and started to worry.

"Sakura-san! Thank GOD you're here! He was just trying to molest me!"

Naruto shook his finger angrily at Neji.

Sakura-SAN?

Sakura looked at Neji, who looked equally as surprised as herself.

"Neji-senpai? What happened?"

Sakura was pretty sure Hyuuga Neji wouldn't do anything like what Naruto had just accused him of doing.

"I…don't know."

Naruto looked at him incredulously.

"'I don't know' my cute little ass! He was stroking my face and my hair and everything! I know, Sakura-san, I never thought Neji-senpai was like this, I guess it's true. It's always the quiet ones who want it more!"

Sakura was even more surprised, as Naruto told Sakura what Neji had done to him. So, the strange looks Neji always gave him were _those_ kinds of looks…

Inner Sakura giggled, but something else caught Sakura's attention. Naruto had called Neji 'Neji-senpai.' Naruto hardly ever called anyone's name with respect.

Meanwhile, a blush was creeping onto Neji's cheeks.

"Oi, Neji-senpai!"

Neji's eyes widened slightly. The way Naruto held the covers protectively over himself, curled up on the corner of the bed and calling for him by _that_ name had him thinking he was almost…girly. It was extremely enticing.

"Do you LIKE me or something?"

Neji chocked on air.

"Wha-what?"

Naruto swung his head to the side in defiance and stuck his nose in the air.

"Well, it's pretty obvious, Neji-senpai. You come all the way here, where a girl is sleeping all by herself before hardly anyone has even woken up yet, just to TOUCH her. You have a _crush_ on me, don't you?"

Sakura started giggling.

"I thin Naruto is right, Neji-senpai. Naruto, I don't think that blush will get any redder! You're embarrassing him too much!"

Nevertheless, Neji's blush darkened tenfold, but his ears had picked up the small, strange detail.

"What do you mean, '_a girl_'?"

A small ball of fear was rolling closer and closer towards Neji at alarming speed.

Sakura quickly realized what Neji meant, and also felt the same impending fear that lurked around the corner.

Naruto shot him a glare.

"What do _YOU _mean?"

Neji shook his head. No, it couldn't be what he was thinking.

"Naruto, are you _sure _you're feeling ok?" Neji asked, a hint of urgency detectable in his voice.

Naruto eyed him suspiciously.

"Of COURSE I feel ok. Actually, no. I think I need a shower. I'm feeling all _icky_ and _disgusting_!"

…And with that, Naruto kicked off the blankets and ran into the bathroom.

Neji stared at the ground, brows furrowed in deep thought. It couldn't be what he suspected. No, he'd never heard of anything even remotely close to what he was thinking. Why would the hidden mist give Naruto something like _that_? Neji looked up at Sakura, who was also in deep thought, gazing at the blue door in which Naruto just entered.

Naruto turned the shower knobs as warm water flowed through the shower head. He adjusted the temperature of the water until it was just right. Naruto began to undress himself by first untying his hitai-ate. He then pulled off his black t-shirt and tossed in somewhere on the floor. He then kicked his pants off and hooked his thumbs under the boxer waistband and pushed.

"AAAHHHHH!"

Neji and Sakura bolted towards the blue door.

"Naruto! What's wrong?" Neji called.

There was silence from the other end.

Sakura was banging furiously on the door.

"Naruto! Naruto, open the door! Are you alright? Naruto, please ans-"

The lock clocked open and the handle turned. As the door creaked open, Naruto's head popped out from behind.

"Naruto! What happened?" Neji insisted.

Naruto sheepishly peered through his thick golden strands covering his forehead. His cheeks were tinted with pink.

"Err…Sakura-san…could you please…come in for a second?"

Sakura nodded and went inside.

Neji's eyes were darting with curiosity. He resisted the urge to use his Byakugan, reasoning that Naruto must have had a reason to only let Sakura inside. It was just that Neji didn't know _what_ it could possibly be.

Meanwhile, behind the door, a half-naked Naruto was glancing nervously back and forth between Sakura and his crotch.

"Naruto, what's wrong?"

Sakura scanned the bathroom to check for any signs of danger.

Naruto lifted his face and looked at Sakura with bewildered eyes. Naruto's voice was quiet and low.

"Sakura-san, I need to show you something. I don't know how or why it's there…I was just undressing and I saw it…"

"What is it, Naruto?"

Naruto looked down nervously. He placed a shaking hand on the towel.

Sakura's eyes widened with shock.

"AAAAAHHHHHHH!"

This time, Neji kicked down the door.

"What in the world is happening?"

Neji stopped in his tracks. Immediately, he blushed harder than he ever had in his lifetime.

Naruto was standing there. _Naked_. And Sakura was standing not far off, her hands covering her eyes.

Naruto looked at Neji. Neji looked back.

"AAAHHHHHHH! You HENTAIII!"

Naruto threw the towel at Neji's face.

"Naruto, what do you think you're doing? _YOU'RE _the hentai!" Sakura squealed.

Naruto walked towards Sakura desperately.

"I'm sorry, Sakura-san, but I swear, I have no idea how this…'willy' got here. It must've been that weird pill the mist ninja forced into me! It turned me into a GUY!"

Both Neji's and Sakura's fears were confirmed.

- - - - -

"Naruto, you aren't a girl…" Sakura whispered.

Naruto pouted.

"Well, obviously, not any more! But I still am on the inside! All we need is Tsunade to fix me, and I'll be my pretty, feminine self again. Where is she, anyway?"

Neji lifted the towel off from his face to speak, but Naruto started shrieking again and covered his chest and crotch.

"Are you bloody insane, you super hentai! Put that towel back over your face _RIGHT NOW_!"

Naruto's face was twisted and red in anger and embarrassment.

Neji tried to push all thoughts of blushing uke-Naruto away from his mind, and reminded himself that this was a very serious situation involving a very psychologically damaged Naruto. He took off his vest and walked towards the naked blonde.

Naruto looked on in horror. His eyes darted to Sakura's direction.

"Sakura! Please help me! Neji-senpai is trying to…Neji-senpai is trying to…AAAHHHH!"

Neji ignored the girly shrieks ad wrapped his vest around Naruto's trembling form and got the white towel and did the same to Naruto's waist. He then walked back to where he was originally standing.

Naruto was frozen, slightly red.

"Err...ahem…thanks. But don't do that again."

Neji smiled on the inside.

"As I was trying to say, Naruto-kun," Neji said, before we was cut off.

"Naruto KUN? Did you just call me Naruto-_KUN_? Ugh! The NERVE of ignorant boys!"

Neji took a deep breath.

"Naruto-kun, you _are_ a boy, inside and out. The pill you took, I am guessing, makes you think you are actually a girl," Sakura explained, trying to talk some sense into the fuming blonde.

"Ha! As if! You are all just trying to get back at me for all the pranks I've played on you, right? Well, I ain't falling for your _sick joke_!"

Naruto sniffed as his eyes became teary.

Neji and Sakura were shocked. They had never seen Naruto about to cry before.

Neji tried to walk over to Naruto to try and comfort him somehow, but Naruto kicked Neji in the chest and sprinted out of the bathroom.

"What's all this ruckus?" asked the voice of Shizune who had just entered the hospital room, followed by Lee and Hinata.

They saw Naruto dashing out of the bathroom, tears streaming down his face.

"N-Naruto-kun!"

Naruto stared at Hinata with extreme despair in his eyes.

"Hinata-san? What did you just call me?" asked Naruto with trembling lips. Hinata trembled, wondering what it was that she said which upset Naruto so much.

"N-Naruto-kun? What's wrong?"

Naruto's small frame shook.

"Just because I don't have breasts!"

Ignoring the stunned faces of the new arrivals, the sobbing blonde leaped out the window.

Lee was the first to speak.

"Forgive me for asking, everyone, but was Naruto-kun wearing Neji's clothes?"

Shizune snapped out of her brief relapse and frowned.

"Oh dear. Naruto is crazy. This situation is worse than expected. We need Tsunade-sama here!"

Neji emerged from the bathroom.

"Neji-niisan!"

"Why are you here, Neji-kun? I see, you've been doing youthful activities with Naruto-kun, right? Ah! Sakura-san! Ohayou Gozaimasu!" Lee greeted, his face brightening.

Shizune looked sternly at the two.

"What happened?"

Sakura had a dumb, confused look on her face. Neji spoke first.

"You are right, when you said he is crazy. Or somewhat. Naruto thinks he's a girl."

The other two were silent.

"…Alright. Better call for Tsunade-sama. Neji, go find Naruto and prevent him from doing anything stupid. You're his close friend, right?"

Neji nodded.

"Hai."

Neji dashed out the window in search of Naruto. He had Naruto's clothes gathered in his hand.

"Sakura, you come with me. We are going to find Tsunade-sama. Lee, Hinata, you better find all your friends and warn them of Naruto's…sensitive condition."

_Meanwhile…_

A crying, wailing blonde boy wearing nothing but a vest and a white towel was sprinting down the dusty road around a hill. He had his hand covering his mouth, which muffled his sobs, and another pulling the vest together over his chest in a protective grip. Overwhelmed by his own hysteria, he did not notice three boys calling for him, as he flew past, sending dust flying behind him, causing the boys to cough and splutter.

"Naruto! You're awake! Are you-"

"Wahh, just because I have a _willy_!"

The three boys were frozen on the spot.

"W-was Naruto just wearing Neji-senpai's clothes…?"

A couple of seconds later, another blur was speeding towards them.

"Naruto! Come back!"

The three boys nearly fainted with shock.

"Shikamaru, Chouji, Kiba! You need to go find the others."

Just before Neji was about to bolt, Shikamaru grabbed his wrist.

"Neji-senpai. What's wrong with Naruto?"

Neji's normally cool, emotionless face showed signs of worry.

"Naruto-kun is having some sexuality problems."

Neji then dashed down the hill to catch up to the hysterical yellow blur.

Kiba scratched his head.

"What in the world…"

Shikamaru put his hands in is pockets and stood up.

"I do not want to know…"

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_So it's official. I love Nej/Naru. Probably my favorite pairing. There isn't enough NejiNaru in the world wide web, dammit. If anyone knows any good NejiNaru or GaaNaru, then please tell me!_

_Oh yeah, and this first chapter is a little bit rushed, especially towards the end. I find it really hard actually completing something, even if it's just a chapter. I sometimes love it, sometime hate it. So, the quality is never even. But, anyhoo, please love me! And leave reviews! And please give me lots of advice and opinions, if you think any part of this chapter was a little stupid or cheap. I never realized it before, but I love reviews so much! 3 REVIEWW MEE ._


	2. Chapter 2 Random Fumblings

Drugged

Chapter 2

Ok, almost _5 fucking years_ and now I am an Oba-chan. I am bored out if my wits these holidays and I literally have nothing else better to do than sift through old and embarrassing versions of myself. So I'll give myself a toast for the closure of this embarrassing work. Can you hear the eerie and creepy sounds of me shifting back into girl-hood?

* * *

Tsunade was tapping her pen almost violently on the table with piles of medical notes and journals in front of her. She was sporting a huge frown upon her faux youth, otherwise known as her face, and the rims of her eyes were red, clearly from the lack of sleep and high amounts of stress.

"Tsunade-sama, I think you should rest a b-"

The big-breasted Godaime shot eyes of daggers at the timid brunette.

"-Ah…Nevermind then…"

Shizune looked on nervously. As much as she was worried about Naruto's situation, she couldn't help but fear for the Godaime's health. Of course, not only was this a threat to the leaf village's security and a possible declaration of war, it was a threat to Naruto who was like family to her. She could understand, but she also didn't want her to push it, especially at her age.

"Damn, I could really go for some barbeque pork right now…"muttered Tsunade.

Tonton snorted in shock and ran out of the room.

"AHA! I found it!" exclaimed Tsunade as she leapt out of her chair.

"Tsunade-sama?" Shizune responded.

"It's the classified report by Orochimaru which was left behind in one of his old labs. This is the only information we've got which bears even a slight resemblance to the kind of level of medicinal techniques we're dealing with. It has information about the types of jutsus that Orochimaru invented to create concoctions using his own chakra in the formulation. This is truly an advanced technique. There might even be some link between Orochimaru and the hidden mist. Pass this information on to the ANBU who are investigating the mist at the moment."

"Yes, Tsunade-sama."

Shizune disappeared with a flash and Tsunade was left alone in her office. She sighed and rested her head on her palm.

Meanwhile, a certain pale eyed boy was exhausted from all the chasing, as well as mildly impressed at how fast this effeminate blonde could run.

"Naruto! Can…you…please…run away…more…slowly?" panted Neji.

The emotional blonde ball came to an abrupt halt.

'_Well, that was quick…'_ thought Neji.

He realized that they were standing in front of a dilapidated, old building with loose floorboards and creaky hinges. He could see new layers of PVC planks plastered on what seemed to be holes on the original surface…and swore that he just spotted a family of cockroaches scuttling into some crevice. Of course, compared to the Hyuuga estate, this building wouldn't even make do as the family shed. Neji was wondering why Naruto was standing in front of such an old, rotten, dump of a-

"This is my home."

"I see."

An awkward silence prevailed.

"Naruto…I'm sorry. I don't know what to say," Neji started.

Naruto peered over at Neji quizzically.

"Sorry for what? Oh…what, did you want to come in or something?"

Neji tore his eyes from the…'home'…and glanced at the blonde boy in front of him.

"Ok."

Naruto opened the door and jumped inside. Neji hesitated for a moment before daring to take a step into the unknown abyss. Here goes nothing, was the last thought going through the pale boy's mind, as he entered the chamber of Konoha's number one surprising ninja. Immediately, he was blinded. By orange. Orange. ORANGE. In capital letters. There was orange everywhere. Neji couldn't believe his eyes. The vastness and the magnificence of orange baffled him, and he was rendered speechless. His mouth hung open and his blank eyes seemed even more blank than usual. Had he entered some euphoric fantasy of Naruto's mind? Orange bedsheets, orange curtains, orange shoes, clothes, chairs…oranges. Naruto caught Neji's blank stare.

"Yeah, I guess I like orange. Did you know nothing rhymes with orange?"

"What about sporange? The alternative of sporangium."

"…Neji, has anyone ever told you that you're weird?"

* * *

Sorry. That was extremely random. Please like me.


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